December 27, 2008

being "rebellious" or "anarchist"

since i realized myself the only thing that i m sure about me is always being out of standarts...sometimes i thought that thing is about my genes then i found out that my parents and people(my relatives) who are quiet close to me all normal people who follows the traditions etc..just conservative people becouse of their education and turkish family structure..oftenly most of people didnt approach my opinions kindly or at least mines were not accaptable or logical for them..maybe becouse of i disturb their secret cows...but only thing that i often could do is pay attantion to details(totally unconsciously) and try to approach with unusual ways...and this unusual ways give me different outcomes..
and also i should admit that sometimes i've been anarchist for being anarchist soo it was quiet unvoluable...sometimes i really thought that i m anarchist becouse there was any idea for me to accept and say thats axactly wahat i believe only i feel myself close to nietzche and nihilism(i dont say nietzche is a nihilist)but i discovered that i also can not accept those ideas too becouse there were sth that i dont believe in and accept then i found out my own idea(untill when i donno either) about the ideas and that is i m not an anarchist...anarchism is acknowledged as to be against all ideologies and rules and etc..but nobody realizes its also an mine is taking some opinions from lots of ideas which are logical for me and not accepting any of them..i m not sure how i m right(actully point is not to be right) about that but it is....i guess "rebellious" fits me better then anything..this night i feel like that and we will see what s gonna happen in next darkness....

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